Haunted

Ever feel haunted?

Boy I sure do these days.
I hear, I'm too sensitive, but there's no switch I can flip to shut it down.
Every time an innocent child, or an innocent adult even really, is killed by accident or mistake, and the weapon was a firearm I tend to succumb to a bout of "melancholia" if you will.
I know I'm not the only one. I know for others it's worse. Some have night terrors that they can't wake up from as easily as i can, and flashes of pain that lands them in the hospital most of the time whereas I can grit my teeth and talk myself down, like reverse hypnosis. Well, it's been 15 years; so I've had a Lot of practice and experience implementing it.
Anyway, an innocent boy was recently murdered. His story is well publicized and his name and face are in every store. I'm glad we haven't forgotten him. I'm glad we're demanding justice for him. I hope his family can find some peace and new purpose in life. I know we all ache for them.
Every time I hear his name, his story, see his face or see his name, I experience pain. It's only a fraction of what he experienced. My mind, however, reminds me how it feels to be shot... and what it's like to know you're about to die... to be looking at and feeling death... I start crying silently in public and have to find a semi-private place to compose myself.
An older friend calls it "Shell Shock" but I don't put a label on it.
It's like being haunted through ones helplessness in sympathy and empathy and a thirst for justice in this case. There's nothing I can do for him, but I can't get him out of my head.
If you've ever or do sometimes feel that/this way, I'm sorry. I hope you've found a way to live with it as well.
For now, I'm going to go hunt for some chocolate and put on an Abbot and Costello record - yes, I said record, and try to mellow out :/