Résume for Love?

I obviously have had issues for several years; 21 actually. Operations Desert Shield and Storm near the Persian Gulf were Pivot-Points in my life.
I'll get into ALL of that, later.
My life from '91 to the present was a tragedy in innumerable acts. I've attempted suicide a few times, and my scars are visible and gnarly. I can't hide all of them. I'm uncomfortable with lying about them, even lying by omission or ambiguity.
I've also been involved in things that are seen as beyond taboo by society. My sex addiction stemmed from childhood attempts to assault on my person. This is also a part of my life that I cannot, in good conscience, hide.
I feel as though I have felony convictions on my résume for romance, love, and marriage.
I've thought, for the last 2 years, that it will take a very special man to want me for keeps. My mother is a pessimist when it comes to men (she's miserable in marriage #5, but they just bought a house and are stuck together for many a year to come), and one of my older brothers, who's also my self-proclaimed "keeper," is afraid that I am too gullible and will marry a sex fiend who will only hurt me emotionally., etc.
I have all of their fears as well to lesser extents, but I'm more afraid of being rejected because of my past.
Yes, the past was significant, it helped to shape the woman I am become , and it will haunt me for the rest of my life. But, it IS the past.
I am back in church, back to a cozy friendship with God. At church, is where I want to find my friends - even if they attend a different church or are believers of a denomination. I hope to find my soulmate at church or through church friends.
Will "he" hold my past against me? Will he become "too busy" for me and disappear from my world? Will he give me a chance? Has he already retreated from the knowing of my past? Am I meant to be alone because of my past?
I try to act nonchalant about it all, but I'm frightened at the thought of being alone for the rest of my life, never knowing love.
Am I underestimating the character of men? Am I vilifying them based on the very past I want to overcome?